AFTER EFFECTS OF RADIATION

Well, I got these horrible blisters that pussed up and popped. I'm not really happy with my radiation doctor simply because he didn't tell me how to care of these. He simply told me to leave it alone just keep it clean; DON'T put anything on the blisters except what he told/gave me to put on them. WELL, the area got infected. Last week Monday the skin had turned black around the pussing area. I had been keeping it clean and only using the ointment they had provided. My right arm swelled and it looked like I had a burn on my shoulder and arm.

The Stubborn Mule that I am I decided not to go to the doctors when the fever started two days after radiation was completed. I felt so horribly sick and yet I persevered. WHY? You ask well I was in the middle of Mid terms and I though well I'm a tough girl I can handle anything right? WRONG...

I had a fever of 102 for two days...I remember one of my professors asking me if I was OK. I said yes. For some reason I should have followed that thought and said I should go home and see a doctor...and yet I didn't. He asked if I thought I should go home...my reply was NO, I need to paint...YEAH...NOT a good idea. I was supposed to meet some friends after class for our weekly gathering, something I really look forward to but suddenly I nearly fell over and I started sweating but I was freezing. I thought Uh OH, I need to go home...SO, Somehow I managed to make it home and I collapsed on the couch and couldn't move. Even when my family came home I couldn't move. I had a friend come over for dinner and yet I still couldn't move. Looking back I wonder what the hell is wrong with my family for not taking me to the hospital.

Anyway, my friend said, UM, maybe we should take you to the hospital now...I'm thinking NAH, I'll be fine. Sweat is POURING down my face and body and I'm covered in a sweatshirt, sweat pants, thick socks, have my HUGE comforter on put my hat on...OK fever is making me delusional. REALLY, My friend asks me one more time and I refuse so we just continue talking as I sweat it out whatever is wrong with me...and seriously I still am not thinking it's an infection brought on by the radiation. He makes me promise that I'll go see a doctor in the morning and leaves for the night.

Next morning I make an appointment with my local doctor, just a GP not an oncologist. and she looks at what I thought was a rash and was about to let me go with a steroid cream to put on my "rash". Meanwhile I'm thinking I need to focus on what she's saying and sit up because I'm leaning over about to fall on the floor. Then it occurs to me to ask her "What about the open sore under my breast?" She looks at me and asks a little more alarmed..."WHAT open sore?!" So she makes me disrobe and I show her, she nearly fell over and said more like yelled, "YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU HAD THAT?!" She's like "I'll be right back...WHAT YOUR Doctor’s Name IS?"

Stupid me responds, "Um, you're my doctor..." She looks at me and says..."ok, Never mind, just sit here I'll be right back."

Apparently she was calling my doctor to see if they were going to admit me into the hospital but, they didn't. She comes back a 1/2 an hour later and says "WELL, you need to call your Oncologist when you get home I'm giving you two week supply of antibiotics. Come see me in two weeks."

So, I call my doctor and he scolds me telling me I HAVE to talk to my teachers and let them know about the situation. If I get that sick again I am NOT allowed to go to school and their to send me straight home...I didn't tell them the sending me home or not allowed to go to school bit...but then again who is counting?

As a result, which I'll NEVER do again, is my heart is damaged. NOT to worry, it's not as bad as you think. None of the valves are damaged, or the muscles...it the volume per beat that's not right. The volume per beat used to be 65 which from what I understand is Athletic status where NOW, it's 56...which is an average person in the US today. So I went from athletic to average...The reason why they stopped the Herceptin is because the Herceptin is KNOWN to damage the heart and dropping 9 points is too much so it's just precautionary.

I do feel the drop in energy, I do see myself struggling more physically and mentally but, I'm confident I'll be fine. OBTW the heart thing...I found out exactly ONE year ago I found out that I MIGHT have cancer. October 30, 2007 ... October 30, 2008 is when I found out about my heart problem...Weird Eh?

Bed Hair!! WAHOOO

Well, I've tried to photgraph my exciting Bed hair but it's not comming out. BUT SERIOUSLY I HAVE BED HAIR!! Now I know alot of people would say that it's not that exciting or cause for celebration but when you haven't had hair in 6 months these little feats are wonderful. I'm rather excited about it all.

Fall Season

Well the fall season is here and in a way I'm very sad. I dont feel like I have had a summer really. Being sick and wanting to spend more time outside in the warmth of the summer sun, gardening more, and enjoying the heat before the dreaded winter. For some reason my days seem to run incredibly fast. I can't believe it really. A week feels like just a day. I can't believe it's Saturday already. It's just so very strange to me. Maybe it's because I'm sleeping so much more.

I can't believe it's October already! It'll be ONE year October 31 when I found out about my cancer. A year ago...looking back I can't believe it's been a year already. So much has happened and it just seems like yesterday. I don't even know what happened to the year really. On one respect I know it's been a year and on the other hand REALLY? it's been a year?

It dawned on me just a few days ago that I'm rounding a year soon...Crazy

Near the end of Radiation

Wow, it's interesting how much I dislike Radiation. It really sucks big time. It's te constant fatigue, the pain (yes there is pain involved with Radiation), and the back and forth to the hospital that is most annoying. Everyday, aside from the weekends, I go to radiation and for a total of 5 minutes but, those 5 mins take it out of me, about 3 mintues after I recieve radiation I'm exhausted. I struggle everyday to stay awake and seriously when I wake up every morning that is the time that I'm the most awake for my ENTIRE day. Which lately I've been waking up later and later everyday so really I am only awake for MAYBE 1/2 an hour to an hour everyday. The rest of the day I just want to sleep. When I get home from radiation I normally feel the most tired out of my day. SO, I try to sleep a little when I get home from Radiation which is tedious because I have so much to do right before school that I struggle keeping up with my homework right now.

So in a very strange an parcular way radiation is more taxing on my than Chemo. Even though Chemo was harder on my body atleast it was only once every three weeks and gave me time to recover where as Radiation I have to have everyday and only have the weekend to recover. Not sure if that makes sense.

With the radiation there are sores that are involved. These sores are in the most inconvient places imaginable. Under my breast and in the crease. So bras are incredibly uncomfortable no matter what I wear (sports, underwire, non underwire) anything that touches or straps down my breast hurts. the best way I can describe the pain is like having a bee sting that won't go away. It's constant. You can't put anything on it unless the doctor prescribes it or gives it to you otherwise it causes more problems or makes it worse. Can't bandage it cause it hurts even more or makes it itchy. So what do you do when this happens? Nothing really just deal with the pain, keep it clean, and that's about all you can do.