Well it's been a little over a year that I found out difiniatively tha I have cancer. Goodness there has been so much that has happened to me that I'm not sure where to begin with my thoughts. I'll start by staying that sorry I've been crazy busy with school so I haven't been able to write too much over the past month. As you all know I've been taking a full load of school to get myself graduated by next spring. GOODNESS GRACIOUS!! I can't believe that I'm almost done with school. Anyway, I've also been sick. I had a bad reaction to the radiation where...WELL, I'll spare your the gruesome details but needless to say I had open sores that got infected and the infection spread down my back up my arm. I had a horrble fever of 102 for about 2 days.
Why might you have asked did I wait to go see a doctor? Well, Mid terms. I wanted to get through my midterms as quickly as I could...and I thought I could just push through without any provocation. Well, I was wrong...SO, I had a fever, and I failed an Exam, did poorly on others and I didn't get a paper done ontime... SO, I went to the doctor and was put on antibiotics for 2 weeks which made me miss my chemo appointment. Three wees after my infection ended I went and found out my heart was damaged as a result of my neglegence. it's not so bad as it sounds. Basically my heart pushes through x amount of volume of blood per beat. WELL, my heart was tracking at 65 points, which is about the volume of a athlete and when they checked it this last time is was down to 56 points which is about average person's volume...SO, could I have continued ... the answer is yes I could have but dropping 9 points is HUGE!! so they decided it wasn't worth the risk.
I can certainly feel the difference really. I am exhausted and need to rest more which is sad for me. I can't fathom why I need to sleep so much. It's all very fustrating for me. I want to get up and work like I used to. go to school, run around and do things. Spend time with my friends. I suppose it was better when I couldn't do anything for all those months.
All this happened around halloween...which is when I began to suspect I had cancer. I had my first doctor's appointment on October 30th where the doctor told me she was concerned and told me to get a ultra sound which lead to the mamorgram...and then the rest is history...
SO much thoughts and I havent written a single one down...it's a shame cause I had some seriously impactual ideas and thoughts about my past year...I'll write more soon, for now I gotta rest. And then I need to study some more.
