Well after all the pain and suffering one goes through you would think that it's over...it's really not true. It has been about a year after my last chemo and almost a year after my last radiation treatment and I am shocked to see that I have alot of the same issues I had while on treatment. I'm no this new drug called Tamoxifin. Its supposed to prevent the hormone estrogen from reentering any remaining cancer cells in my body which is the vehicle that spreads my cancer.
What I'm finding out is that I'm feeling sicker that when i was on Chemo without the fatigue, the constant fear of dying, or the fear of my white blood count dropping. I suppose that's a good thing. I gotta say I don't like feeling sick all the time. I want to be strong and be able to move around without feeling sick. Without feeling tired moments after i wake up from a night's slumber. THe nausea sucks. Memory loss it heightened quite a bit and It freaks me out even more so than before which makes me sad cause i think it makes the situation worse since I'm trying to study for an exam and everything that i studied the night before has gone away making me have to re study everything as if i had never looked at this stuff before. Very frustrating.
AS my hair started growing back I am now noticing that I'm losing it all over again. this time I think it's worse. CLumps of hair is coming out and I don't know if i should shave it off to spare me from the pain of going through hair loss as i did when I first started loosing hair or if I should hold out and hope that the hairloss will end before i lose it all.
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